I lifted this snippet from the bad folks at buddyhead.com;
If you are Avril Lavigne and that geeky singer from Sum 41 that nobody knows the name of, listen close geeks... you both represent everything that is wrong with popular music today. Both of you tards have lowered the standards for what was even considered shitty music before you existed. The fact that you are getting married, only solidifies Sum 41's poser status, and supports the fact that punk is even more dead than previously imagined, and you two have kicked the most dirt on top of the already cold and forgotten grave. You are the antichrists, you are about as punk rock as my grandma, plus you are both from Canada and ugly. We hope you die, and plan on murdering your children just in case they ever plan on making music and aurally ushering in the apocalypse.
Same goes for that douche drinker who sings for that boy band that waves the “punk rock” flag to sell their records, Good Charlotte, and his Mouseketeer-robot-girlfriend, Hillary Duff. They’re all over the tabloids right now kissing like two preteens in heat. You two brainless puppets deserve each other, and now you both have someone to talk to about how it feels to be soulless. Homeboy just better hope the pigs don’t nail him for sticking it to her because she’s a minor.
If you’re up for teasing the retarded, call up that dude’s brother, Josh Madden (who runs that lame clothing company, Made) on his cell phone and ask him what his favorite Hillary Duff song is. (202) 330-9324.
"Live 8" turned into "Live Hate" after about the 47th shitty band. Did anybody see Jay Z up there with Linkin Park? Jay Z always likes to talk about his "people" in his "music". Hey Jay Z, if you wanna walk the talk now on the poverty situation in Africa, how about instead of cramming down our throats all the bullshit about you owning 576 cars, wearing 2 million dollar watches, drinking cristal every night, and all the yachts you chill on… How about you give just a smidge of your money (that might as well have been lit on fire) to your "people" in Africa? Green Day screwed the pooch too trying to cover “We Are The Champions”. What’s with all the pop punk bands covering Queen? Oh yeah, the new dude in Green Day also happens to be Josh Freeze’s little brother. Josh Freeze also played “Live 8” playing drums for Sting. Remember when Puff Daddy covered “Every Breath You Take” and changed it from a song about a stalker into how much he missed his dead friend and how rich he is? Anyway… after the “Live 8” show, Sting, Josh, Annie Lennox, Joss Stone, and The Scissor Sisters all ended up in a big tantric sex gang bang. The crazy lives of rock stars! And from what we’ve heard, Josh Freeze tosses a mean salad!
The only good part about Live 8 was Pink Floyd who completely SLAYED. The week after their performance, Pink Floyd record sales increased by 3,000 percent. Word on the street is that American promoters offered the band 150 million bucks to do a tour of the U.S., but Dave and Roger still can't bury the hatchet. Somebody tell those two geezers to get over it, get separate busses, and hit the road. While you're at it, go get Syd out of the basement of his grandma's house or wherever that dude is, and put his fat bald ass onstage too. You wouldn’t even have to actually turn his amp on, he probably wouldn't notice anyway.
The dudes in Turbonegro sure are some crazy Nords. If you can read whatever weirdo foreigner language their native tongue is out there in Norway, you should check out this website they put together:
www.bransjenytt.org And if you haven't gotten a hold of their newest album "Party Animals", you're doing a disservice to your rock vibes. “Blow Me Like The Wind” is the fuckin’ jam. In fact you can download it from our mp3 blog, click here. Check that gem out.
Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes is NOT dancing with Mr. Brownstone. But Homeboy and his band decided to eat mushrooms before his Glastonbury performance, and proceeded to trip balls and talk shit on stage about the late great John Peel by calling him a "dead cokehead" because he never played any of his whiney songs. Amanda from The Dresden Dolls stripped down ass naked, and walked onstage in the middle of the Bright Eyes performance to make out with the Conor kid. We heard it totally killed his buzz even though “Worryin’s a waste of his fuckin’ time! Yowsa!”
Speaking of people that are dancing with Mr. Brownstone… Our good buddy Courtney Love overdosed at the Roosevelt Hotel on Wednesday night. That can’t be a good thing to do when you’re on probation and just got out of a court-ordered drug-treatment program.
Another dude that’s been break dancing with Mr. Brownstone for like… 20 years… J Spaceman, still isn’t dead. In fact, Spiritualized has a new website with all their old videos on it. Travis is gonna smoke a doobie, go to that website, and try and jerk it with the one hand that still works.
We heard a rumor that Mr. Brian Eno is in the studio with Primal Scream producing their new album. Could be interesting.
Quintin Tarentino has been in serious party mode lately. He's been going out pretty much every night this summer and raging his face off with just about anyone that'll let him talk at them a whole lot. Oh… and they gotta be famous too. Homeboy was pounding the whiskey and talking about Peckinpah films at Ashlee Simpson while the two hung out at her sister's birthday party. That must have been a stimulating conversation, cuz you know Ash is totally into Peckinpah bro. QT drove off into the night alone in his 1998 Volvo 850 GLT. Our guess is that the Pussy Wagon was in the shop!
There's a new beer out now called BRAHMA. I'll have a Brahma brah.
Rob Thomas likes to blow Tom Cruise. Rob's wife caught those two fruitcakes in the middle of one of their sessions, and now the spaceship people are paying Katie Holmes to act like her and Tom are in love. Guess you can't take it in the ass and get on the spaceship.
Tool is in the studio recording a new album. Maynard is doing all of his vocals in the yoga position, downward facing dog, so that he gets a healthy tone.
What the fuck is up with this “Last Days” movie? And why is Kim Gordon stinking up the screen trying to act? Bum out.
The Eagles Of Death Metal have a new record coming out soon called "Death By Sexy". Undoubtedly it will be the highlight of the year. If you can't keep the anticipation in your pants, headbang while you watch this preview trailer. It’ll give you an idea of what you can expect. Click here.
Boston Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo has released a debut cd called "Covering The Bases". It's a collection of 90’s cover songs by bands like Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilot's & Toad The Wet Sprocket. Bet that disc is sick! We're pretty sure this is the second time a major league pitcher tried to rock. The first one we know of was Scott Radinsky, who was a relief pitcher for The Dodgers, and had a shitty jock punk band Pulley. Boo to jocks.
Nine Inch Nails just got back to LA after their tour of Europe. They were all pretty bummed on the whole "no ice, no air conditioning, no ketchup with your fries" thing those Euros live with over there. Savages. This menu item the boys found in Spain pretty much sums the whole experience up. If you cruise over to the “Access” section of NIN.com, Aaron answered a bunch of questions you can stop emailing him about now .
This similar photo kind of sums up record producer Alex Newport’s lifestyle.
That 9-foot tall guitar player dude in Pennywise STILL wants to kick Aaron's ass. Let it go dude, it's been like 4 years or something. The Buddyhead and Pennywise paths don't usually cross, mainly because your chances of seeing us at a NASCAR race dressed up like Boy George are greater than catching us hanging at the Warped Tour. Nevertheless, Nine Inch Nails and Pennywise ended up playing some festival in the middle of nowhere in Europe, and while being interviewed, Fletcher had the following deep thoughts to share:
Interviewer: ...And what is happening for Pennywise next?
Fletcher: Um, we are gonna go out and find the guitar player for Nine Inch Nails and beat the shit out of him... Aaron North. When I catch him, he's gonna get it.
Interviewer: Why?
Fletcher: He's a bastard. You know, always talking shit about everybody and fucking thinking he's some sort of punk rock superstar. But I'm gonna say, "Hey, do you want to talk shit now, in person?" Cause he talks shit about Pennywise and fucking every band. He just thinks he's a really cool guy... Buddyhead.com... kind of thinks it's funny, but it's really not that funny. So I'm going to see how he wants to talk in person. But then I'd probably have to fight the whole Nine Inch Nails crew, so then I'll have to use weapons. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but if you see this Aaron, I'm fucking going to find you one of these days, bitch! I'll probably just slap him once, really hard.
It's kind of funny how the reason he wants to beat Aaron up is cos we basically called his band a bunch of bullies and jocks. It doesn't seem to occur to Fletcher that by saying this kind of shit, he's proving our point... again.
The old guitar player from The Explosion is mad at us too. Cept he’s not 9 feet tall so it’s a little bit funnier. The best part is, we’re not even sure why this kook is pissed. He called Travis and left a bunch of angry crazy guy voice messages. Normally we can ignore crazy people, but when you wanna be the ANGRY crazy guy, that’s when we post your phone messages on a really popular music website, so that everyone can see what a moron you are! Bet you feel pretty dumb leaving these now nutball!
(Download - Call 1)
(Download - Call 2)
(Download - Call 3)
(Download - Call 4)
Speaking of The Explosion, you think their manager knows the names of any Sex Pistols songs yet?
A bunch of bands are playing their classic albums in their entirety this month in London, including Mudhoney who will be doing "Superfuzz Bigmuff" and The Stooges who will also be doing "Funhouse".
Speaking of The Stooges, they're finally re-releasing the first two (and best) Stooges records. The releases will be re-mastered and contain bonus tracks. If you already have the "Funhouse" boxset, you've already heard the bonus material that will be included on that cd. On a related “Funhouse” note, Travis keeps running into Sum 41 around town and asking them if they’ve still heeded his advice and picked up a copy of that record yet, to which they replied, “Fuck that lame shit!” on the most recent occasion. We’re not making this shit up!
At the most recent All Tommorrow's Parties, David Yow from The Jesus Lizard got up on stage with The Melvins to sing the Jesus Lizard song "Chrome", and the Melvins song "Night Goat". David even wore a Lil Bo Peep dress, and crowd surfed some just like the old days. SIIIIIIICK.
Josh Homme from Queens of the Stoneage fought the law, and the law won... for now. Homeboy got probation and some serious "anger management" courses sentenced to him for laying the smackdown on Blag, the singer of The Dwarves. Hey Blag, play the pussy, get fucked, huh?
Speaking of the Dwarves, Nick Oliveri is back in the band. All of that hullabaloo about that last Dwarves record and tour being the end of the band is horseshit.
Gorilla Biscuits are re-uniting for a show in New York soon. Whatever is right. In more exciting news, GAYrilla Biscuits are putting the finishing touches on their new record which should be out on Buddyhead soon.
Somebody PLEASE call this dude Steve Bays, who is the singer for Hot Hot Heat, and tell him to cut off the wacky curly hair guy fro, and take that ridiculous scarf off. (323) 810-6466.
INXS are looking for a new singer in the form of a reality show. As if that wasn’t already the least rock n’ roll thing to do, it gets worse… Dave Navarro and some cumdumpster who wouldn’t know rock n’ roll if it was skull fucking her are both hosting it! The question on everyone’s mind is whether or not they’re gonna be able to get a shirt on Dave.
Word on the street is that those dudes in Bloc Party are into “playing doctor” with each other in the bus on long drives. Can you say CREEPSVILLE?!?!
The UK just ruled that Magic Mushrooms are now a “class A” drug alongside cocaine and heroin. Which means you can’t buy them legally anymore.
The Magic Numbers are really into eating.
Michael Jackson is moving to Germany. He loves those little sausages they have there.
Axl still hasn’t put out "Chinese Democacy". It’s been 10 years since he started recording the album for anyone who wants to start keeping track.
Kevin Devine has signed to Capitol Records. Doesn’t matter if the kid sells 20 million records, he still won’t get laid.
Our old buddy Les (who used to manage The Icarus Line, put on some of LA’s first raves and booked some of Primal Screams first California shows) wrote a book about doing drugs and porking raver chicks. You can check some of it out online here. Les told us that if he does anymore coke his nose is gonna cave in and he’ll need plastic surgery.
In case you didn’t hear us the first 300 times… Buddyhead #18, the Mean Reds & Wires On Fire “Split EP/DVD” is for sale at Amoeba in Hollywood, from the bands at their shows, or from our online store. We’ve also got a ton of shit for sale in there now too. We’ll have a release date for the rest of the world real soon but in the meantime you can stream the songs here.
According to LA Alternative Press, Wires On Fire are one of LA’s ten best bands along with Wives, Toys That Kill, The Oolah’s, Lion Fever & others. High five dudes! Click HERE and HERE.